Did you breathe? I'd like to think that if you did, you were eager to follow my instructions. That would be a good ego boost. But it is more likely that you are just a human who fancies some good ol' oxygen. Darn.
If you haven't taken a breath yet, now would be a good time.
Alright, all of that was to say that I needed a deep breath to get this started.
While this blog has been a part of my heart for quite some time, I still can't say for sure where it is headed. Since deciding that I was actually going to make it happen, I haven't been able to stop the ideas from flowing. My mind won't turn off at night and I have started keeping lists in notebooks, on my phone, and even in texts to myself. I have never ending bullet points of post ideas (over one hundred so far; prepare yourselves), of blog series I would like to start, of people I would love to work with and feature, and of some lofty dreams I would love to see come true through this blog.
"Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her!" - Luke 1:45
I feel like Good Pursuits is merely the beginning of a journey that I have prayed to embark on for so long. God is fulfilling His promises to me in encouraging me to bring this blog to life. I never doubted Him, but I've certainly doubted myself.
I have been a writer my whole life. I scribbled song lyrics like crazy in fifth grade. I got into poetry by seventh grade and was all about writing short stories by high school. I didn't get into the teen blogging revolution that happened around 2004 (remember Livejournal?). I fell right in the appropriate age range, but I am eternally grateful that my
Sometimes I craugh (a simultaneous cringe/laugh) when I come across my old hand written journals. I can only imagine how that craughter would turn to utter humiliation if the thoughts in those journals were trapped online for all to see. Putting my teenage topic selection aside (I once wrote about four boys in a single week. Ah, youth), I am always quite impressed by the ripeness of my teen and childhood writing. I cared a great deal about it at the time and always made the effort to express myself in an open, mature, and engaging manner. After I had conquered basic writing skills and had gained an understanding of advanced writing techniques, I became obsessed with finding my voice. I worked frequently with my English teachers to improve that voice and to find my niche. I am eternally grateful to them for their encouragement, their guidance, and their constructive criticism that was always on point and undoubtably strengthened me as a person and as a writer. I went to an arts high school (I was there for Music and Theater) that appreciated our passions, our differences, and our talents, even in academic classes. I felt like I was in a place where my writing could truly thrive.
Unfortunately, like everything else, my writing took a huge hit when I got sick at sixteen. I'm not sure if I will ever understand how, but my "voice" changed completely. Simple things like my vocabulary and even my ability to grasp words in everyday conversation fell far, far away. It was a constant source of frustration and I was often embarrassed by the writing I produced. Many encouraged me to journal, write poetry, or blog throughout my chronic illness journey, but I felt more letdown than relieved when I would write. I mourned it as another loss due to illness. It has taken years for me to rebuild, but I am still not where I would expect myself to be based off of the abilities that I had as a teenager. I still feel that I have a gift with words and communication, but I feel like they get a bit lost in translation now.
I am nervous about how that will play out here. I always know exactly what I want to say, but I cannot always get it out when and how I want to. I have moments of clarity and times when my thoughts and emotions speak beautifully through words. Other times it feels like a big, unintelligible mess. Try to bear with me.
I am still not convinced that I am a great writer. But I am a writer nonetheless and I cannot possibly ignore the life experiences that have given me incredible opportunities for growth and wisdom throughout the past decade. So here I am, farther along as a person than I have ever been before, but still with so much to learn. Blogging requires a considerable amount of confidence while also demanding a willingness to be vulnerable. Right now, I feel slightly more vulnerable than confident. Fortunately, God has given me the conviction that this blog is a part of my path, which is propelling me forward and providing a healthy dose of excitement and can-do attitude!
I have come to the realization that blogging is inherently self-centered (as are many things in life; this is a fact rather than a judgment). We are putting our thoughts out there and assuming that they will be read by someone.
I hope to make this blog so much more than that. I hope to make it a community. I hope to make it a conversation. I hope it will spark new thoughts and shed light on old ones, for both you and for me. I hope it will change us for the better. I really do. Dream big, right?
I hope inspiration will be unearthed here. I hope understanding is found here. I hope comfort is felt here. I hope comfort zones are expanded. I hope our minds are challenged to elevate. I hope new ideas are revealed here. I hope truer empathy will be discovered here. I hope plans for a better life are drafted here. I hope the lens through which we see the world is widened here. I hope faith is nurtured here. I hope our desires to pursue good things will be greatly encouraged here.
But all of this isn't up to me.
It is up to us.
Things around here may get deep sometimes, as I don't believe in avoiding the weightier topics or dodging the big issues in life. But things will also be fun and lighthearted. Life has countless shades and aspects and I intend to discuss them all.
My life has been invaded by illness for the past nine years. Pain, challenges, and trials have become more real than ever. I have not had the luxury of a single day without physical pain.
In the midst of that, though, joy has been abundant. I have been in more deliberate pursuit of goodness, adventure, and happiness than ever before. I appreciate anything that can make a day brighter, can encourage another person, make a relationship stronger, an experience more exciting, or can make life healthier in any way.
There's just too much beauty, too much goodness in this world that we let pass us by every day. I intend to pursue it. I have written it on my heart that in the darkest of days, there is goodness and there is beauty. Some days it is harder to see than others and some days we may not even want to see it. But please, hold on to the hope that it exists and that it is waiting to be discovered. I am willing to bet that we all know this in the depths of our being. Some of us acknowledge and seek it more readily than others, but that belief is there. For if we did not believe this, then how have we ever survived a single dark day? We conquer fears, overcome challenges, endure miserable seasons, all because we know that there is something better ahead. There is a brighter day. A more joyful season. A resiliency in our spirit. A survivor's badge of honor for our heart. We know that the pursuit of goodness is not a fruitless one.
And so the pursuit begins.
I am anxious to get this first post accomplished so that I can officially begin the journey.
Onward with the pursuit, friends.
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